October 22, 2003
حكومت جمهوري شاهنشاهى !!! **رفيق


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**رفيق مان عباس آقا _ كه ما عباس چرچيل صداش مي كنيم _ آمده بود سراغ مان كه : آقاى گيله مرد ! ما اين روزها به كشف جديدى نايل شده ايم !
گفتيم : مبارك است انشا الله ! حالا كه اينقدر به خدا نزديكى ؛ نميشود سفارش ما را هم بكنى ؟؟

عباس آقا كمى هارت و پورت و راه انداخت و شروع كرد به شمر خواني كردن كه : آقاى گيله مرد ! جنابعالى خيال ميكنى ما نوكر داروغه ايم كه هر كارى از ما بر بيايد ؟؟
گفتيم : آخر عباس آقا جان ؛ اين روز ها هر كى در مونده شد با ما برادر خونده شد ! از قديم هم گفته اند وقتى ننه نيست با زن بابا بايد ساخت ! حالا بفرما ببينيم چه كشفى كرده ايد ؟؟

عباس آقا ؛ بادى به بروت انداخت و عينهو آبجى قدقدو ؛ شروع كرد به غر غر كردن و گفت : قبل از اينكه كشف بزرگ مان را به اطلاع جنابعالى برسانيم ؛ يكى دو تا سئوال از شما داشتيم .
گفتيم : عباس آقا جان ! جنابعالى هم كه ماشا الله هزار ماشا الله عينهو گداي موسوى را ميمانى ! هم بايد پول تان داد هم دست تان را بوسيد ! والله ما اين روزها آنچنان گرفتار ننه قمر ها و دده سياه ها و عمه گرگه ها و ابو پشمك هاي از وزن سنگين از عقل سبك هستيم كه گهگاهى اسم خودمان هم يادمان ميرود ! اما مگر ميشود به پرسش هاي آدمى مثل حضرتعالى جواب نداد كه هم سياستمداريد ؛ هم اديب ايد ؛ هم مفسريد ؛ هم كاشف ايد ؛ و هم اهل بخيه ؟؟ حالا ميشود بفرماييد سئوال تان چيست ؟؟

عباس آقا در آمد كه : ميشود بما بفرمايي توي دنيا چند نوع حكومت وجود دارد ؟؟
گفتيم : عباس آقا جان ؛ پدر آمرزيده !!ما را ترساندى . ما خيال كرديم ميخواهى از ما سئوالات فقهى بفرمايى كه بلا نسبت مثل خر در گل وا بمانيم ؛ اين سئوالى كه جنابعالى ميفرمايى ؛ هر بچه مكتبي مكتب نديده اى هم جوابش را ميداند چه برسد به ما كه نا سلامتى كدخداي دهى هستيم و همين تازگى ها هم در انتخابات كاليفرنيا از آن مرتيكه ي لندهور عوضى شكست خورده ايم !
ببين عباس آقا جان ! ما كه بيطارى را روي خر كولى ياد نگرفته ايم ! تا آنجايى كه عقل مان قد ميدهد ؛ ما حكومت جمهورى داريم ؛ حكومت شاهنشاهى داريم ؛ حكومت مشروطه سلطنتى داريم ؛ حكومت شاهنشيخى داريم ! حكومت فقاهتى داريم ؛ حكومت ولايتى داريم ؛ حكومت سفاهتى داريم ؛ حكومت كودتايى داريم ؛ حكومت خلقى داريم ؛ حكومت شبه كودتايى داريم ؛ حكومت ملوك الطوايفى داريم . همين هاست ديگر عباس آقا جان !

عباس آقا نيشخند فيلسوف مآبانه اى زد و گفت : آقاي گيله مرد ! بيخود نيست كه ميگويند بلبلى كه خوراكش زرد آلو عنك باشد بهتر از اينها نمي خواند ! آنطور كه معلوم مان ميشود انگار جنابعالى وقايع و حوادث و اتفاقات دنيا را خوب دنبال نمي كنيد چه اگر غير از اين بود حكومت " جمهوري شاهنشاهى " را كه ما تازگي ها كشف كرده ايم از قلم نمى انداختيد . مى انداختيد ؟؟

گفتيم : جنابعالى خيلى خوشبو تشريف داريد دم باد هم نشسته ايد ! ماشا الله دندان صدو بيست سالگي تان هم در آمده د " حكومت جمهوري شاهنشاهى " ديگر چه ملغمه اى است عباس آقا جان ؟؟!! ما اگر نخورده ايم نان گندم ؛ ديده ايم دست مردم !!

عباس آقا در آمد كه : مگر نشيده اي كه ميگويند جايي كه گوشت نباشد چغندر پهلوان است ؟؟

گفتيم : شنيديم عباس آقا ! شنيديم . خب منظور ؟؟

دو باره بادى به بروت انداخت و گفت : سوريه و آذربايجان يادت مى آيد ؟؟ در سوريه آقاى حافظ اسد سى چهل سال بريد و دوخت و كشت و كند و سوخت ؛ حالا آقا زاده اش بنام " رييس جمهور " مى برد و ميدوزد و ميسوزد و مي كشد و ميخورد و مي تازاند ! در آذر بايجان هم همينطور .!
خب ؛ اين را ميگويند حكومت جمهوري شاهنشاهى ديگر.......!!!!


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  6:08 PM


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