August 1, 2003
حرفهای صد تا یک قاز.........


حرفهای صد تا یک قاز.........


میگویند: از زیادی نان پای سفره می شود فهمید که ناهار آبگوشت است .
حالا حکایت ماست.
ما میخواستیم به زبان طنز و کنایه و اشاره؛ مختصری سر به سر " اصحاب شمشیر " بگذاریم تا " اصحاب قلم " را اینقدر نچزانند. اما انگار این خودکار بیک مشکی نا قابل هم به ما ظلم می کند. لاجرم آنچه می خوانید آش شله قلمکاری است که به قول دوستم سیاوش خان توکیو نشین !! توی طبله ی هیچ عطاری نیست .
چه کنیم ؟ دنیای ما دنیایی است که به قول عطار :
هر که را در عقل نقصان اوفتاد
کار او فی الجمله آسان اوفتاد
******

گاهی اوقات ما هم از نکبت ایام تنگدل می شویم و دل مان می خواهد هر چه را که توی دلمان است- بدون هیچ آدابی و ترتیبی -روی صفحه ی کاغذ بریزیم و دق دلی مان را خالی کنیم. اما خانم جان مان می گوید :آدم عاقل حتی دیوار شکسته را برای روز مبادا نگه میدارد !!و بعد با توپ و تشر میفرماید :
مرد حسابی! مگر مرض داری ؟؟ آخر آدم عاقل مفت و مجانی برای خودش دشمن تراشی می کند ؟؟
اما گیله مردی که ما باشیم تنها هنر مان همین است و بس!یعنی نان خودمان را می خوریم و حلیم حاج عباس را بهم می زنیم !!
شاید هم همه اش تقصیر شیخ اجل سعدی است که با این فرمایشاتش فی الواقع سرود یاد مستانی مثل ما داده است که :
نیک باشی و بدت گوید خلق
به که بد باشی و نیکت دانند....

*****

دوستم مریض شد و کارش به بیمارستان کشید.
کفش و کلاه کردیم و دسته گلی خریدیم و رفتیم دیدنش .
دیدیم زار و نزارروی تخت افتاده است و مدام ناله می کند که :خدایا ! اگر بمیرم چه بر سر همسر و فرزندانم خواهد آمد !!؟؟
و من به یاد آن شعر سنایی غزنوی افتادم که :

گویی که بعد ما چه کنند و کجا روند ؟
فرزندکان و دختر کان یتیم ما
خود یاد ناوری که چه کردندو چون شدند
آن مادران و آن پدران قدیم ما .............

********

نزدیکی های خانه مان یک کازینوی جدید تمام عیار افتتاح شده است تا خلایق بروند پول های شان را ببازند و با دماغی سوخته و جانی خسته و روانی پریشان به خانه های شان بر گردند.
پریشب ما هم به مصداق " خواهی نشوی رسوا همرنگ جماعت شو "دست عیال را گرفتیم و رفتیم آنجا . دیدیم خلایق گوش تا گوش نشسته اند و صدای جرینگ جرینگ دلار تا آسمان هفتم هم میرود .
جای تان خالی رفتیم در یکی از رستوران هایش شامی خوردیم و کمی هم به نظاره ی خلایق قمار باز نشستیم و تا آمدیم به خودمان بجنبیم همینطور شوخی شوخی سیصد و خرده ای دلار باختیم و آمدیم خانه !!!
و من به یاد داستان " لیلاج "آن قمار باز معروف افتادم که :
با همه ی استادی و مهارتی که در قمار بازی داشت در اواخر عمر چنان خاکستر نشین شده بود که از شدت فقر و بیچارگی در گلخن حمامی زندگی میکرد.
میگویند : روزی جوانی برای آموختن فن قمار بازی نزد او رفت
لیلاج سه قاپ به بام حمام انداخت و گفت :
راست جیک . چپ بک . و میانین انبه است .
مرد به بام شد . چنان یافت .
لیلاج گفت : با همه ی مهارتی که دیدی . خورش مرا خون جگر است .و پوشش خاکستر . اینک اگر خواهی ترا بیاموزم !!

*********

آقا رضا دندانش درد گرفته بود . رفت بیمارستان و شصت دلار داد و دندانش را کشید .
گفتم : آقا رضا ! حیف دندانت نبود؟؟ چرا کشیدیش؟؟ میدادی پرش می کردند .
و آقا رضا در آمد که :
کی غم دندان خورد آنکس که نانی نیستش ؟؟!!
و من به یاد آن شعر دوست شاعرم - م . سپند - افتادم که بیست سال پیش وقتی که تازه به امریکا آمده بودم و به مصیبتی بنام دندان درد مبتلا شده بودم خطاب به خود من سروده بود :
ای همچو من ویلان و سر گردان حسن جان !
دندان چه خواهی چون نداری نان حسن جان؟؟!!!

*******


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  12:02 AM


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