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قديم نديم ها ، هر وقت كه ما توى كوچه ، با بچه هاى محله دعواى مان ميشد و خونين و مالين ميآمديم خانه ، مادر بزرگ خدا بيامرزمان ، ضمن اينكه با پنبه و دوا گلى دك و پوز زخم و زيلى مان را دوا درمان ميكرد ، پوز خندى ميزد و ميگفت :
تو كه بر بام خود آبگينه دارى .... چرا بر بام مردم ميزنى سنگ ؟؟
حالا حكايت مرحوم صدام حسين و شركاست .
چند روزى بود كه ما از خودمان مى پرسيديم پس اين ارتش ظفر نمون عراق!! كه مرحوم صدام حسين آنهمه به آن مى نازيد و در سايه ى چنين ارتشى چوب توى آستين خودى و بيگانه و همسايه و ترك و عرب و مسلمان و يهود و گبر و ترسا ميكرد ، چه خاكى بر سرش ميكرد كه شهر هاى عراق يكى پس از ديگرى در برابر سربازان امريكايى تسليم شدند و حتى شهرى مثل بغداد كه آنهمه برج و بارو و پادگان و موشك و تانك و توپ داشت ، بدون آنكه چندان مقاومتى بكند فرو ريخت ؟؟؟!!! يعنى فى الواقع اين ارتش مرحوم صدام حسين عينهو چس فيل بو داده بود كه نه بو داشت نه خاصيت ؟؟ تا اينكه ديروز كه پاى تلويزيون نشسته بوديم و جاى تان خالى داشتيم تخمه مى شكستيم ، ديديم آقاى سرهنگ DAVID HUNT افسر باز نشسته ى نيروى زمينى امريكا در يك مصاحبه ى تلويزيونى كه از شبكه ى خبرى FOX NEWS پخش ميشود ، رسما و علنا اعلام ميكند كه سازمان سيا مبلغ يكصد ميليون دلار به ژنرال ها و افسران عاليرتبه ى عراقى رشوه داده است تا وقتى كه سر و كله ى تانك هاى امريكايى توى عراق پيدا ميشود ، چمدان هاى شان را ببندند و دست عهد و عيال را بگيرند و با نشان ها و قبه ها و پول ها و چمدان هاى شان ، به هر جاى دنيا كه ميخواهند تشريف ببرند و مابقى عمر را در ناز و نعمت و امن و امان زندگى كنند و هيچوقت هم ياد شان نرود كه : برادرى مان بجا ، اما بزغاله دانه اى هف صنار است !!! .

ما وقتى اين خبر را شنيديم ، دندان تحير بر لب گزيديم و نميدانيم چرا بياد مرحوم مغفور هلاكو خان مغول و وردست سياست بازش مرحوم خواجه نصير طوسى افتاديم و به خودمان گفتيم اگر چه " زور " قبض و برات نمى خواهد ، اما آيا وقتى سربازان هلاكو بغداد را در محاصره داشتند ، خواجه نصير طوسى ، به سرداران خليفه رشوه داده بود تا بتواند خليفه ى مسلمين را دستگير و نمد پيچ كند ؟؟!!
رفيق قديمى مان عباس آقا -- كه ما عباس چرچيل صدايش مى كنيم -- معتقد است كه هر چيزى براى خودش قيمتى دارد و اگر پول داشته باشى مى توانى روى سبيل شاه هم نقاره بزنى !!
عباس آقا ميگويد : آقا جان من ! هميشه كه آب نمى رود به جوى آقا رفيع ، يك روز هم ميرود به جوى آقا شفيع ديگر ..!!
راستش اين آقاى عباس چرچيل براى خودش مكتب و فلسفه اى دارد كه حالا جاى بحثش اينجا نيست ، اما توى اين حيص و بيص ، يك خواننده ى عزيز از ايران ، براى ما يادداشتى فرستاده و نوشته است :
" آقاى گيله مرد ! شما كه در امريكا هستيد و لابد با كاخ سپيد و پنتاگون سر و سرى داريد!! بالاغيرتا به اين آقاى بوش بگوييد يكوقت به سرش نزند كه سر خرش را كج بكند و راهى ايران بشود و بهواى آزاد كردن ما امت هميشه در صحنه ! تانك ها و موشك ها و زره پوش ها و هواپيما هايش را سراغ ما بفرستد كه ما ايرانى ها ، اولا ، اهل جنگ و دعوا و مرافعه و اينجور چيز ها نيستيم . و همان دعواى قديمى هشت ساله مان با مرحوم صدام حسين ،براى هفت پشت مان كه نه ، بلكه براى هفتاد پشت مان كافى است . ديگر اينكه بقدرتى خدا ، و تحت فرماندهى هاى مدبرانه و خداگونه ى حضرت آيت الله العظمى امام خامنه اى --موسوم به بزرگ وافور داران -- الحمدالله همه ى پاسداران و بسيجى ها و سربازان و افسران و درجه داران كه هيچ ، بلكه همه ى سرداران سپاه اسلام ! چنان وافورى و شيره اى و مافنگى شده اند كه نه تنها هيچكدام شان حال جنگ و جدال و خونريزى و اينحرف ها را ندارند ، بلكه اگر زبانم لال ، لشكر آزاديبخش آقاى بوش !!يكوقت بخواهد راهى دار الخلافه ى اسلامى بشود ، كلى مايه ى آبرو ريزى امت اسلام خواهد بود ، زيرا همه ى پاسداران و سرداران سپاه اسلام ،آنچنان پشت منقل هاى شان سنگر خواهند گرفت كه سربازان امريكايى نه تنها با مقاومتى روبرو نخواهند شد بلكه مجبور خواهند شد بجاى در كردن تير و ترقه ، با آنها همسنگر بشوند و " حال " بكنند !!
در جواب اين دوست نازنين بايد بگوييم كه : باز خدا پدر تان را بيامرزد كه ما را به سازمان سيا وابسته نكرديد و نگفتيد كه از آن سازمان الهى !! جيره و مواجب ميگيريم . ديگر اينكه ، اگر چه ما از نامه ى شما سر در نياورديم و نفهميديم منظورتان از شيره اى و مافنگى شدن سرداران سپاه اسلام چه بوده است ، اما آن را مستقيما براى آقاى بوش و آقاى دانولد رامسفيلد فرستاديم . اينكه آنها نامه ى شما را ميخوانند يا نمى خوانند و به توصيه هاى بشردوستانه ى شما عمل ميكنند يا نمى كنند ، ديگر موضوعى است كه حضرت كرام الكاتبين ميداند . اما شما هم كه در دارالخلافه ى اسلامى تشريف داريد ، اگر براى شما زحمتى نيست و دست تان به رهبر عظيم الجثه ى انقلاب ميرسد ، از قول ما امت خارجه نشين به ايشان بفرماييد كه : حاج آقا ! شما كه ماشاالله روى تان را با آب مرده شويخانه شسته اند ، سر جدتان ، كمتر پنبه ى لحاف كهنه باد بدهيد و ملت ما را با شاخ گاو در بيندازيد . مگر نشنيده ايد كه ميگويند : معده ى ليز و آب هندوانه ؟؟!!!
عزت شما زياد .


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  8:44 PM


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