همسايه هندى .... همسايه امريكايى ....
آقاى كمار ، از هند پا شده بود آمده بود امريكا . چند سالى جان كنده بود و سيلى روزگار خورده بود و پول و پله اى به هم زده بود و توانسته بود خانه اى بخرد و در ينگه دنيا براى خودش صاحب خانه بشود .
اين آقاى هندى ، يك روز كه داشت جلوى خانه اش گل هايش را آب ميداد ، چشمش افتاد به همسايه ى امريكايى اش -- مستر جان -- كه داشت ميرفت سر كارش .
آقاى كمار دستى براى همسايه اش تكان داد و سلامى و خوش و بشى كرد و بخيال اينكه شايد بتواند با خيار جاليز مردم دوست بگيرد ، بادى به بروت انداخت و مثل دروازه ى مسجد شاه دهانش را باز كرد و گفت :
-- ميدانى مستر جان ؟؟ من اگر چه از هند آمده ام ، اما از تو خوشبخت ترم !!
مستر جان ، نگاهى به ريخت و قيافه ى آ قاى كمار انداخت و توى دلش گفت : آقا رو باش كه اندك مندك ، چغندر زردك شده !! بعد ازش پرسيد : چرا تو از من خوشبخت ترى ؟؟
آقاى كمار گفت : تو يك خانه ى بزرگ دارى ، من هم يك خانه ى بزرگ دارم .
آقاى جان با حيرت گفت :؟؟ so what
آقاى كمار در آمد كه : تو يك ماشين شيك گرانقيمت دارى ، من هم يك ماشين شيك گرانقيمت دارم .
آقاى جان با حيرت بيشتر پرسيد : so what
آقاى كمار گفت : همسر شما بسيار زيباست ، من هم همسر بسيار زيبايى دارم .
آقاى جان كه ديگر داشت آن رويش بالا مى آمد ، بحساب اينكه لابد همسايه اش بالا خانه اش را اجاره داده است ، در آمد كه : so what
آقاى كمار دوباره بادى به بروت انداخت و با كلى اهن و تلپ گفت : من از تو خوشبخت ترم ، براى اينكه من يك همسايه ى " امريكايى " دارم ، و تو يك همسايه ى " هندى " !!
قديمى ها ميگفتند : دهى كه نداره ريش سفيد ، به بز ميگن عبدالرشيد ! حالا حكايت ماست .
از روزى كه آن سردار قادسيه !! از ترس سربازان امريكايى ، توى شلوارش خرابى كرده و سوراخ موش را به چندين ميليون درهم خريده و ديگر نه عر عر ميكند و نه جو ميخواهد ، ما امت اسلام ، بدون آنكه خودمان بخواهيم ، با غول بيابان همسايه شده ايم و رهبران پيزى افندى و پهلوان پنبه ى جمهورى اسلامى ، چون مى بينند بوى حلواى شان بلند شده و توى بد انشر و منشرى گير كرده اند كه ديگر نمى توانند با الدرم بلدرم و هارت و پورت و توپ و تشر و شارت و شورت و شمر خوانى كردن ، آبى براى خودشان گرم كنند ، پا ردم ساييده ترين شان يعنى هاشمى رفسنجانى موسوم به سارق العلما را جلو انداخته اند تا بلكه با دم تكان دادن و كاسه ليسى براى امريكايى ها نعل خر مرده را بردارند و در اين جنگ ميان بول و غايط ، نمدى براى كلاه شان كه نه ، بلكه براى عمامه ى سه منى شان فراهم كنند ، غافل از اينكه :
تو نپندارى كزين لاف و دروغ
هرگز افتد نان تلبيس ات به دوغ
ميگويند : يكى از يكى پرسيد : اسمت چيست ؟
گفت : رحمان
گفت : درست شد . اسم من هم عبدالرحمان است . قوم و خويش در آمديم . عبدش ول ، الرحمانش سر بسر !
حالا حكايت ماست . طرف خيلى خوش بوست دم باد هم نشسته است .
چه ميدانم ؟ لابد حكمتى در كار است كه آن روباه رفسنجان ميزند چهچه ى بلبل ، كه خرش بگذرد از پل ....
شما چه فكر مى كنيد ؟؟
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