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آقاى بلاهت و بانو ، ميخواهند شهروند امريكا بشوند ، كارشان به دادگاه كشيده ميشود . من به عنوان مترجم همراه شان به دادگاه ميروم .
قاضى مرد مو سپيد پير مهربانى است كه محبت از كلامش ميبارد .
خانم و آقاى بلاهت ، دست راست شان را بلند ميكنند و قسم مى خورند كه در محضر دادگاه ،چيزى جز حقيقت نگويند .
قاضى ، اسم و رسم مرا مى پر سد و با همان لحن مهربانش به من ياد آورى ميكند كه گفته هاى خانم و آقاى بلاهت را بدون كمترين سانسورى برايش ترجمه كنم .
من هم لبخندى ميزنم و سرى ميجنبانم و مىگوم : yes your honer
دادگاه رسما كارش را شروع ميكند . قاضى از خانم بلاهت مى پرسد :
.--- آيا در يكسال گذشته از امريكا خارج شده ايد ؟
خانم بلاهت بدون كوچكترين تاملى ميگويد : نه !
قاضى نگاهى به پرونده ى جلوى رويش مى اندازد و كاغذى را از آن بيرون ميكشد و خطاب به من ميگويد :
-- به خانم بلاهت بگوييد كه ايشان قسم ياد كرده اند كه در محضر دادگاه چيزى بجز حقيقت نگويند .
من گفته ى قاضى را براى خانم و آقاى بلاهت ترجمه ميكنم .
خانم بلاهت زير لب چيزى را زمزمه ميكند . قاضى دو باره از او مى پرسد :
--- آيا در يكسال گذشته از امريكا خارج شده ايد ؟
خانم بلاهت ميگويد : بتو چه ؟!
قاضى به چشمان من نگاه ميكند تا گفته ى خانم بلاهت را برايش ترجمه كنم .
من توى چنان انشر و منشرى گير ميافتم كه دست و پاى خودم را گم مي كنم .
از قاضى خواهش ميكنم يكى دو دقيقه به من فرصت بدهد تا تا با خانم بلاهت صحبت كنم .
قاضى موافقت مى كند .
براى خانم بلاهت توضيح ميدهم كه بايد به پرسش هاى قاضى جواب بدهد .
خا نم بلاهت زير لب چيزى را زمزمه ميكند و دادگاه دوباره كارش را شروع ميكند .
قاضى از خانم بلاهت مى پرسد :
--- آيا در يكسال گذشته از امريكا خارج شده ايد ؟
خانم بلاهت با قاطعيت مى گويد : نه !
قاضى نگاهى به پرونده مى اندازد و ميگويد : شما در تاريخ دوازدهم نوامبر ، امريكا را به قصد آلمان ترك كرده ايد ، چرا حقيقت را نمى گوييد ؟
خانم بلاهت يكباره مثل كوه آتشفشان منفجر ميشود و ميگويد :
-- به تو چه مرتيكه ى پدر سوخته ؟!! رفته ام كه رفته ام !! شما سگ پدر ها ، نفت ما را دزديده ايد و حالا چنان پر رو شده ايد كه مى خواهيد از جيك و بوك ما هم سر در بياوريد ؟؟ !!
قاضى ، به چشمان من خيره ميشود . به خودم ميگويم : خدايا عجب گيرى افتادم ؟
قاضى همچنان به چشمان من خيره مانده است . ناچار گفته هاى خانم بلاهت را براى آقاى قاضى ترجمه ميكنم .
قاضى ، با لحن خاصى ميگويد : نه ! من هيچوقت بنزين مجانى نزده ام ! من هر وقت كه به پمپ بنزين ميروم پول بنزينم را ميدهم !!
و من از بلاهت خانم بلاهت گريه ام ميگيرد .
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