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ميگويند : يك روزى ، شاه از شعبان بى مخ پرسيد : نظرت در باره ى انقلاب سفيد چيه ؟؟
شعبان بى مخ در جواب گفت :
-- اعليحضرتا ! ما دو نوع انقلاب داريم ، يكى انقلاب سرخ ، يكى هم انقلاب سفيد .
انقلاب سرخ آن است كه مردم ميزنند دهن شاه و خانواده ى سلطنتى را سرويس ميكنند ،
انقلاب سفيد هم آن است كه : شاه و خانواده ى سلطنتى ، ميزنند دهن مردم را سرويس ميكنند !!
...............................
ميگويند : يك روز ، شاه به شعبان بى مخ گفت :
-- شعبون ! شنيدم دشمنات زياد شدن ، مواظب خودت باش نكنه يه وقتى بلايى به سرت بيارند !
شعبان بى مخ در جواب گفت : خيال تون راحت باشه قربان ! بغير از اعليحضرت و عليا حضرت ، هيچكس ديگه اى نميتونه تخم منو بخوره .... !!!

...................

شعبان جعفرى ....
من اين روز ها ، سر گرم خواندن كتابى هستم بنام "شعبان جعفرى "، كه توسط خانم هما سرشار نوشته شده است .
عليرغم فحش ها و اتهاماتى كه به سبك و سياق معمول ما ايرانى ها ، نثار خانم هما سرشار شده است ، من معتقدم كه انتشار اين كتاب ، خدمتى بايسته براى شناخت زوايايى از تاريخ معاصر ميهن ماست .
علاوه بر اين ، كتاب با نثرى بسيار شيرين نوشته شده و يكى از جالب ترين كتابهايى است كه من در اين چند سال گذشته خوانده ام :

اينك با هم قسمتى از حرف هاى شعبان جعفرى را مى خوانيم :

خانوم ، اين محمد تقى فلسفى يادتونه ؟
اين يه وقتى تو مسجد شاه ميرفت بالا منبر ، به جون شما ، به مولا ، ما مى برديمش بالا منبر ، من بودم و اسفنديارى و بچه ها ، به قرآن ، اين كمونيست ها خيلى باهاش مخالف بودن ،
خانوم ، وقتى اونو ميبرديم بالا منبر ، اون بالا داد ميزد : " ايها الناس ، زنبور شاه داره ، ما چى ؟ " ميگم جون شما ، به مولا ،
اونوقت ديدى بعد از انقلاب با اين خمينى چيكار كرد ؟
خانوم ، شما كجاى كارين ؟ چى ميگين ؟ من خوب يادمه ، اينو شما نشنيدين ، هيچكس نشنيده ...همين فلسفى يه روز كه ميرفت بالاى منبر گفت : " جعفرى جان ، يه كارى بكن ! "
يكى ترقه در ميكرد ، يكى شيشكى در ميكرد ، من رفتم اون طبقه ى سيم منبر و -- به جون بچه م انگار همين حالا جلو چشممه --- داد زدم :
خيلى معذرت ميخوام ، ببخشين ، گفتم :
" ايهاالناس ! اين آقا با منبرش تو ك....خوار و مادر هركى شلوغ كنه !!......" نقل از كتاب " شعبان جعفرى " نوشته ى هما سرشار . صفحه ى 170


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  10:35 PM


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