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پيشتر ها ، ما معقول مثل بچه ى آدم ، اول غروب مى آمديم خانه و شام مان را مى خورديم و مى رفتيم توى رختخواب و تا دم دماى صبح ، - اگر چه با هزار والذاريات - ولى بالاخره به هر جان كندنى بود ، مى خوابيديم ، و كلى خواب هاى خوش دختر شاه پريون مى ديديم ، و به كاه و كنگر كسى هم ضرر نمى زديم .
اما ، از روزى كه صاحب اين وبلاگ و مبلاگ و صفحات زهر مارى شده ايم ، نه خواب مان خواب است ، نه بيدارى مان بيدارى . نه ناهار مان ناهار است نه شام مان شام . آنچنان پى شاخ رفتيم و گوش بباد داديم كه حالا ، ماشاالله هزار ماشاالله ، چرت مى زنيم بهتر از مرشد ، و كار ما هم شده است چغندر به هرات و زيره به كرمان بردن و پيش خرس كله معلق زدن !!
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اگرچه به قول بابا بزرگ خدا بيامرز مان ، با بارك الله و مرحبا و به به و چه چه ، ران كسى گنده نميشود ، اما ، همين به به و چه چه هايى كه دوستان از سرتاسر دنيا حواله ى ما مى كنند . آنچنان كار دست مان داده است كه از نان خوردن افتاده ايم ، و اگر چه اين به به و چه چه ها به پفى در ميگيرد و به تفى خاموش ميشود ، اما هيچ بعيد نيست كه اگر همينطور پيش برويم ، عيال دست زنگوله هاى پاى تابوت مان را بگيرد و برود پيش ننه جانش !!
بعضى از آدم ها هستند كه اگر چاقوى مفت ببينند ، شكم خودشان را پاره مى كنند ، يا اگر قارى مفت ببينند ، مجلس ختم باباى شان را مى گيرند !! حالا حكايت ماست .
از آنجا كه اين خانه ى شيشه اى مان ، اجاره و مجاره و اينجور چيزها ندارد ، و هيچكس هم نيست كه يقه مان را بگيرد و بگويد : آخر آقاى گيله مرد ، اين پرت و پلاها چيست كه مى نويسى ؟ ما هم ، خدا خواسته ، شب و نيمه شب ، همينكه بيخوابى به كله مان ميزند و ياد بدهكارى هامان مى افتيم و نمى توانيم كپه ى مرگ مان را بگذاريم ، پا ميشويم ميرويم توى كتابخانه مان و مى نشينيم پاى كامپيوتر و د بنويس ! حالا چه پرت و پلايى از آب در مى آيد ؟ خدا ميداند .
از روزى كه اين آقاى گيله مرد ، صاحب اين خانه ى شيشه اى مفت و مجانى شده ، دوست ناديده اش " پيام جان " ، همه ى كارهاى فنى اين " خانه شيشه اى " ، از قبيل در و پنجره سازى و گل كارى و رنگ و لعاب سازى و مزقون پردازى ! اش را سر و سامان داده است ، اما از آنجا كه اين آقاى گيله مرد ، به اين آسانى ها از رو نميرود ، و خيال مى كند مى تواند با خيار جاليز مردم دوست و رفيق بگيرد ، آنقدر خرده فرمايشات عجيب و غريب به اين جوانك بيچاره داده است كه طفلكى نه تنها نتوانسته است " چرنديات " خودش را بنويسد و سر و صورتى به وبلاگ خودش بدهد ، بلكه يك پا داشته يك پاى ديگر هم قرض كرده و به جاهاى دور دستى كوچيده است كه ديگر دست آقاى گيله مرد بهش نمى رسد !!
در نتيجه ، آقاى گيله مرد ، حالا هم از شورباى قم مانده است هم از حلواى كاشان !!
قبل از اينها ، وقتى آقاى گيله مرد ، شبى ، نصفه شبى ، كامپيوترش شالتاق بازى در مى آورد و نوشته هاى تايپ شده اش را بالا مى كشيد و نم پس نميداد ، آقاى گيله مرد ، يك ايميلى به اين آقاى " چرنديات " نويس ميزد و قربان صدقه اش مى رفت كه :
پيام جان ، ترا به امام زمان به دادم برس !! و آن طفلك هم مثل فرشته ى نجات ، از راه مى رسيد و از راه دور ، با پيغام و پسغام ، كامپيوتر لعنتى را وا ميداشت آن چيز هايى را كه بالا كشيده است پس بدهد !!
حالا نميدانم اين آقاى " چرنديات " نويس ما ، به كجا كوچيده است ، اما ، بايد بهش بگويم كه : خب رفيق ! درخت پر بار ، سنگ مى خورد ديگر !!
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از قديم نديم ها ، پدر ها و پدر بزرگ هاى ما گفته اند كه :
ران ملخى نزد سليمان بردن
عيب است ! وليكن هنر است از مورى ..
جمال همه تان را عشق است دوستان ، ما مورچه ى زير پاى تان هستيم ! يكوقت نكند بى خيال ، پا بگذاريد روى ما و له و لورده و خرد و خاكشير مان بكنيد ها ؟؟!!! قربان همگى تان : گيله مرد
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