February 18, 2004
قاسم آقا عيالوار ميشود !


رفيق من قاسم آقا ؛ رفته بود ايران زن بگيرد .ميدانيد که بسياری از جوان های ايرانی وقتی نوبت زن گرفتن شان ميشود ؛ فيل شان ياد هندوستان ميکند و ميروند ايران و شاه داماد ميشوند و مثل شاخ شمشاد بر ميگردند امريکا .
قاسم آقا وقتی از ايران بر گشت ؛ يک شب آمده بود خانه ما .بهرام - دوست مشترک ديگرمان -هم همراهش بود .
نشستيم و شامی خورديم و گپی زديم و رفيق مان - بهرام - در آمد که : فلانی ؛ تو هيچ دکتری ميشناسی که متخصص بيماری های گوش باشد ؟؟
گفتم : چرا نه ؟ اتفاقا رفيق جان جانی ام دکتر حسين خان ؛ متخصص گوش و حلق و بينی است .حالا چطور مگه ؟؟ خدا نکرده به بيماری گوش مبتلا شده ای ؟؟
گفت : نه ؛ ولی اين قاسم آقا ؛ طفلکی ؛گوشش ديگر خوب نمی شنود !! می خواستيم يک وقتی از دکتر بگيری تا ببريمش پيش دکتر بلکه معالجه بشود .
من به هوای اينکه رفيق مان آقا بهرام دارد جدی حرف ميزند ؛ پا شدم تا دفتر تلفنم را بر دارم و به دکتر حسين خان زنگ بزنم و يک وقتی برای قاسم آقای ما بگيرم . اما ديدم صدای قهقهه خنده همگان به آسمان رفته است و همه دارند غش و ريسه ميروند .
من که هاج و واج مانده بودم ؛ تازه فهميدم که ای بابا ! اين رفيق مان -بهرام - دارد سر به سر قاسم آقای ما ميگذارد و ميگويد :
من هزار دفعه زير گوش قاسم آقا خوانده ام که ای آقاجان ! يکوقت نکند مثل ما خل بشوی و بروی زن بگيری ها !!!اما چون قاسم آقا به حرف مان گوش نميدهد خيال می کنيم شايد گوشش عيب و ايرادی دارد و بايد برود پيش دکتر متخصص !!
جای تان خالی آن شب خيلی خنديديم ؛ و طفلک قاسم آقا هم هی از خجالت سرخ و سفيد ميشد و همراه ما نرمک نرمک می خنديد .

قاسم آقا رفت ايران و زن گرفت و بر گشت امريکا .گويا قرار است چند ماه ديگر دوباره به ايران برود و زنش را بياورد امريکا .
قاسم آقا ميگفت : يک روز شال و کلاه کرديم و رفتيم شمال . رفتيم به شهری به نام فريدون کنار . در مدخل شهر تابلوی بسيار بزرگی نصب کرده بودند و رويش نوشته بودند : به شهر امام خامنه ای خوش آمديد !ما وقتی اين تابلو را ديديم خيال کرديم لابد همه مردم اين شهر حزب اللهی هستند و برای امام خامنه ای سر و دست می شکنند .اما وقتيکه رفتيم توی بازار شهر ؛ ديديم قدم به قدم ؛ آدم هايی دنبال ما می آيند و زير گوش مان نجوا می کنند که : آقا ترياک می خواهيد ؟؟آقا هرويين می خواهيد ؟ آقا جنس خوب داريم ها !


من خيال ميکنم اهالی فريدون کنار ؛ به مصداق : چه خوش بود که بر آيد به يک کرشمه دو کار ؛ آن تابلوی کذايی را در مدخل شهرشان نصب کرده اند تا هم پيزری لای پالان امام خامنه ای و شجره خبيثه ارباب عمائم بگذارند تا به سبب قرب شان در درگاه خدا ؛ شفاعت آنها را بکنند ؛ و هم توی اين اوضاع احوال قمر در عقرب و قاراشميش ؛ که سگ صاحبش را نمی شناسد ؛ و آب سر بالا ميرود و جنگ ميان بول و غايط ادامه دارد و ملايان مثل جن بو داده و ننه اکوان ديو ؛ همه مملکت را صاحب شده اند و چشم به کفن درويش هم دارند ؛ طفلکی ها با فروش ترياک و هرويين ؛ نانی روی سفره فقيرانه شان بگذارند که به قول معروف :
نه در مسجد دهندم ره که مستی
نه در ميخانه ؛ کاين خمار خام است


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  7:39 PM


نظرات
 

عیالشان که تشریف بیارن آمریکا حتما می شوند "عیالات متحده" :))

Posted by: عیالات متحده at February 18, 2004 8:31 PM

ولله ما همگي گوشمون سنگين بوده به نظرم.
عمو گيله مرد جونم بهت خيلي خوش بگذره.

Posted by: katbalou at February 18, 2004 8:51 PM

گيله مرد عزيز!
اول اين كه تازه گى جريان معكوس شده وخانم ها براى كردن شوهر به ايران مى آيند!
درست نوشتم ديگه زن را مى گرند و شوهر را مى كنند در مصدر كه اشتباه نشده است!
ضمنا اين شعار ما را فراموش نكن!
شد مجلس هفتم‘ چو رهبر‘ يك دست!

Posted by: شبح at February 19, 2004 1:05 AM

گيله مرد جان توجه نكردي عمو به اصل داستان.بين وفور ترياك ونشئه جات و شهر امام خامنه اي رابطه اي بسيار ساده ومنطقي برقراراست!

Posted by: يزدانيان at February 19, 2004 1:27 AM

سلام ...به مطلب جالبي اشاره كرديد ....بله جلوي خيلي از شهركها ي ديگه هم مثل دريا كنار وخزر شهر هم نوشتن و هر كدوم به نام يكي از مومنين است ....نميدونم اين جك را شندين يا نه ؟؟؟ كه به آقاي رفسنجاني ميگن : وضعيت شما قبل و بعد از انقلاب چه فرقي كرده ؟ .....ميفرمايند : قبل از انقلاب ما يك باغ داشتيم وسط رفسنجان ... حالا رفسنجان افتاده وسط باغ ما .............موفق باشيد ..به اميد آزادي ايران و ايراني .

Posted by: shokooh at February 19, 2004 3:25 AM

فردا روز دیگریست

فردا مردم به پای صندوق های رای نمی روند. فردا مردم گوش جمهوری اسلامی را می گیرند و او را از پای صندوق های پوسیده انتخابات به سوی زباله دانی تاریخ می کشانند. من باور صد در صد دارم که بیش از ده درصد از مردم به پای این صندوق های ننگین نمی روند.

Posted by: M. Homayon at February 19, 2004 3:30 AM

سلام عمو گيله مرد جان خوبي؟:)
من خيلي وقته اين سمتا نيومده بودم:) شما ام تي دار شدين مباركه:)


راستي اين جريان گوش رو كه اول خوندم فكر كردم كه ميخواي بگي: بس كه دختره زياد حرف زيده بود دمش گوشش:))))))))

Posted by: زهرا at February 19, 2004 5:49 AM

سلام بدون شک بین مواد مخدر و نمایندگی مجاز شماره یک خدا در زمین روابطی حسنه برقرار است والله العالم

Posted by: عزیزدوردونه at February 19, 2004 7:26 AM

سلام ... یا اینکه یارو مشتری شماره یکشان هست و بخاطر خرید زیاد اسمشان را روی شهر گذاشتند ...

Posted by: آرمین گیله مرد at February 19, 2004 8:25 AM

... با گوگل گشتم اما آپادانا پیدا نکردم ... آیا در اروپا هم میشه گرفت؟ با کدام ماهواره و فرکانس چیست؟؟؟؟

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لينك شما كار نميكنه اصلاح كنين

Posted by: کیوان at February 19, 2004 2:06 PM

سلام عمو گيله مرد عزيزم:)
چه نظرخواهيتون باحال شده.. مگه خامنه اي بچه خوشگل مشهد نبوده؟:) نشنيده بودم فريدونكناري باشه:)
والله تا اونجايي كه شنيديم خانوما گوششون سنگينه:) مردا كه از بس خوشبخت مي شن بعد از ازدواج كه هوس مي كنن دوتا دوتا زن بگيرن:)

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Posted by: Behdad at February 20, 2004 10:10 AM

آقاي رجب نژاد, با سلام فراوان.
این ملاهای فاشیست نه فقط فريدون کنار ،بلکه اسم خیلی از محل ها را عوض کردند . در مدخل روستای شاقاجی تابلوی نصب کرده اند و رويش نوشته اند: به "اسلام شهر" خوش آمديد. شاقاجی ده کیلو متر از رشت دور است. نردیک دانشکاه گبلان به سمت امام زاده هاشم.برای تائید حرف دوستتان: در شاقاجی هم خیلی از اهالی معتاد هستند و جوانان با فروش ترياک و هرويين زندگی می کنند.مثل خامنی معتادند ولی پول و زور خامنی را ندارند.
تی بلا می سر، من وقت ندارم. الان باید با پاچ علی جان برم شکار تورنگ.
شوخی بگودم. در این دیار بی کسی پرنده پر نمی زند.

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