March 10, 2004
وقايع اتفاقيه .....!!


**خانمی وارد فروشگاه wal*mart می شود و حدود ششصد - هفتصد دلار خريد می کند و وقتيکه پای صندوق ميرسد ؛ يک اسکناس يک ميليون دلاری به خانم صندوقدار ميدهد و منتظر ميماند تا مابقی پولش را بگيرد و برود .
از آنجا که در امريکا اسکناس بالاتر از صد دلار وجود ندارد ؛ سر و کله پليس پيدا می شود و خانم محترمه را دستگير می کنند .
در بازرسی هايی که از کيف اين بانوی محترم به عمل ميآيد ؛ دو تا اسکناس يک ميليون دلاری ديگر پيدا می شود و خانم را روانه زندان ميفرمايند .
اين بنده خدا انگار از قليان چاق کردن فقط پف نم زدنش را بلد بود و نميدانست که اين ينگه دنيا جايی است که در آن سيمرغ پر می اندازد و پهلوان سپر .


**** يک بانوی امريکايی وصيت کرده بود که پس از مرگش ؛ اجزای بدنش را به دانشکده پزشکی
دانشگاه ايالتی کاليفرنيا در لس آنجلس اهدا کنند تا " دکتر بعد از اين ها " برای درس تشريح شان ؛ کم و کسری نداشته باشند . اما اين روزها معلوم شده است که يکی از مسئولان دانشگاه ؛ اعضای بدن اين خانم و خيلی ديگر از بندگان خدا را به دلالان فروخته است و هفتصد و پنج هزار دلار کاسبی کرده است !
بگمانم اين يکی ؛ از قليان چاق کردن ؛ هم پف نم زدنش را بلد بود ؛ هم آتشدان چرخاندن ؛ و هم خيساندن تنباکو را ...!!!


**** ظاهرا در ايران ؛ " انتصابات مجلس " به پايان رسيده است و آقايان !کرسی های مجلس فرمايشی را اشغال کرده اند .
بهنگام انتخابات ؛ بازار وعده وعيد ها داغ بود و چه وعده ها که به " امت هميشه در پشت صحنه " ندادند .
اما ؛ در اين ميان ؛ يک آقای خوش ذوقی - نميدانم به شوخی يا به جد - خودش را به عنوان کانديدای نسل جوان معرفی کرده بود و برنامه هايش را هم در يک پستر انتخاباتی به اطلاع ملت غيور و شريف ايران رسانده بود . از جمله مفاد برنامه هايش اينکه:
برگزاری سومين دوره مسابقات فوتبال جام جهانی سال 2205 در ايران
جلوگيری از فرار مغز ها و جيگر ها از ايران
جلوگيری از بردن تخمه و ساندويچ به استاديوم آزادی
افزايش سس در ساندويچ های هايدا
آسفالت کردن مسير بندر عباس به کيش ؛ برای رفاه حال قاچاقچيان گرامی
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سوابق :
عضو سابق مجلس هفتم و هشتم
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واقعا که چنان مجلسی چنين نمايندگانی را هم ميخواهد !!!


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  8:40 PM


نظرات
 

مثل هميشه زيبا بود.
شاد باشي.

Posted by: pouyan at March 11, 2004 12:13 AM

سلام
بزار يك چيز جالب هم من برات بگم
يه نماينده شعار اصلي انتخاباتيش رو رواج سنت عقد موقت قرار داده بود
اين رو خود من ديدم...........
يكي نيست بگه : .... به كجا چنين شتابان

Posted by: ایلیا at March 11, 2004 12:52 AM

نازنينم گيله مرد :

دوش در سطح كوچه و بازار
چيزهايي ديده ام كه مپرس
با همين 2 چشم خويش
چيزهايي ديده هام كه نپرس

عينا تبليغ انتخاباتي اين آغايون قمي رو براتون نقل ميكنم :

سوهان گفتي و دلم كردي سوهان ‘ سوهان نگو زعفراني كه گويم و گفته ام بارها كه اين بود بهتر از خروارها حلواي تنتراني . نوش جان . گواراي وجودتان . اي سوهان سازان و اي سوهان فروشان الا اي پرچمداران نهضت حاج حسين . پاينده باد راهتان و كوبنده باد مشت تان ‘ دست مريزاد . خيلي مخلصيم ميرزا . جون داداش اين تو بميري از اين تو بميري ها نيست . پس بيا راي بده !!!!!!!!!!
..
..
..
با سلام و درود خدمت درودگران عظام و سروران گرام و رفيقان بامرام از در و پنچره ساز و ايضا منبت كار و خراط كه در پي هنر نمايي اند . دست مريزاد . كسب و كارتان پر رونق و رونقتان روز افزون باد . با تشكر آلات فراوان . كوچيك شما حاج دايي . راي فراموشتان نشود .

از دست اين جماعت سيد و سادات خون گريه كنيم يا همون به آب ديده بسنده ؟

Posted by: shiva at March 11, 2004 3:04 AM

پاینده باشی گیله مرد

Posted by: ایران سرا at March 11, 2004 4:27 AM

ما که از قليان چاق کردن، هيچکدام را ياد نکرفتيم. آمديم آتش بچرخانيم به جرم آتش پرستي چوب تو آستين مان کردن. پايدار باشيد.

Posted by: سپنتا at March 11, 2004 7:45 AM

سلام ....
××تازه اگر هم باشد کی میرود باهاش در وال مارت خرید!!!!!
×××× حتما آرزو داشت یک اسکناس 1 ملیون دلاری داشته باشد ...
×××× :-)

Posted by: آرمین گیله مرد at March 11, 2004 8:23 AM

این جوری دیگه

Posted by: محمد بابایی at March 11, 2004 1:41 PM

بله جريان رو در برنامه آقاي ساسان كمالي ديدم(دولار يك ميليوني)خيلي جالب بود.....ولي ما هنوز موفق به ديدن برنامه شما نشديم!

Posted by: persianlaic at March 11, 2004 1:52 PM

قبلا هم مطالب شما را خونده بودم جالب مي نويسيد تازه بعضيها تبليغ نكرده بودند چون فكر مي كردند مردم وظيفه شون است كه به اونها راي بدن و اونها به هر حال راي مي اوردند

Posted by: سميه at March 11, 2004 3:18 PM

کلی شاخ در آوردم. اولا از اون اسکناس یه میلیون دلاری. (کدوم نابغه ای این کار رو کرده) و ثانیا از این تبلیغ انتخاباتی. راست راستی راسته؟ چطور ممکنه آخه؟

خوش بگذره.

Posted by: katbalou at March 11, 2004 5:59 PM

عمو گيله مرد جونم. عاشق اون نوشته ي مربوط به دو تا گاو شدم. عالي بود.
باز هم خوش بگذره.

Posted by: katbalou at March 11, 2004 6:01 PM

سلام...هميشه از خواندن نوشته هاتون لذت ميبرم...راستي گوساله نا مشروع اون گاوا (مجلس هشتم) خودشو به امت هميشه در صفحه تحميل كرد.(كاشكي كه سقط شده بود!.......داشگاه زهرا اچ پي.)))))))))).......--------هميشه شاد باشين!

Posted by: yalda at March 12, 2004 12:15 AM

×دانشگاه الزهرا اچ پي.))))))بامزه بود.)))))))))))))

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لطفا يه رونقی هم به وبلاگ ما بدين و قدم روی چشم ما بزارين ... ماه بانوی ۲۱ ساله - صاحب يک فرزند

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