آقا رضا با من قرار ميگذارد که صبح زود - ساعت شش - با هم به ديدن مزرعه ای برويم که دو ساعتی با شهر مان فاصله دارد .
آقا رضا دوست دارد اين مزرعه را بخرد و به پرورش اسب بپردازد . مرا واسطه کرده است که با صاحب مزرعه - بخاطر رفاقتم با او - بر سر قيمتش چک و چانه بزنم . راستش من اهل هيچگونه چک و چانه ای نيستم اما آقا رضا از ميان همه پيغمبران " جرجيس " را بر گزيده است .
فردا صبح ؛ ساعت پنج از خواب بيدار ميشوم ؛ سر و صورتی صفا ميدهم ؛ فرصت صبحانه خوردن پيدا نمی کنم . اما شال و کلاه ميکنم و راه می افتم . ساعت هنوز شش صبح نشده است که خودم را به مغازه آقا رضا ميرسانم . مغازه بسته است . جلوی مغازه ؛ توی ماشينم می نشينم و به انتظار ميمانم . ساعت شش و نيم ميشود و از آقا رضا خبری نيست . ساعت هفت می شود آقا رضا پيدايش نيست . ساعت هفت و نيم می شود و آقا رضا تشريف فرما نمی شود .
به خانه اش زنگ می زنم ؛ آقا رضا از خواب بيدار می شود و گوشی را بر ميدارد و با صدايی خواب آلود ميگويد : الو.....الو ...؟؟
می گويم : آقا رضا ! شما ساعت تان گويا با ساعت گرينويچ ميزان است . دفعه ديگر وقتی با من قرار گذاشتيد لطفا ساعت تان را به وقت کاليفرنيا ميزان کنيد !
آقا رضا معذرتی ميخواهد و ميگويد : بی خيالش داداش !! يک روز ديگر ميرويم !!
* * * * *
حسين آقا به ده هزار دلار پول احتياج پيدا ميکند .آنچنان به اين پول نياز دارد که حاضر است هر قدر که بخواهند به اين عبدالله شر خر های امريکايی نزول بدهد .
دوست قديمی اش - ممد آقا - از راه ميرسد و يک چک ده هزار دلاری به حسين آقا ميدهد و راهش را ميکشد و ميرود .
طفلکی ممد آقا ؛ خودش هزار و يک جور گرفتاری دارد . مدتی است که کاسبی اش چندان روبراه نيست و به دست انداز افتاده است . اما ممد آقا همچنان دستی گشاده و دلی گشاده تر دارد و به اين و آن کمک ميکند .
حسين آقا ؛ وعده ميدهد که اين پول را حد اکثر تا دو ماه ديگر پس بدهد . اين را هم ميداند که ممد آقا اين پول را از بانک قرض گرفته است و بايد هر ماه پايش نزول بدهد .
حالا دو سه سال از اين قضيه ميگذرد . ممد آقا همچنان نزول ميدهد و حسين آقا به ريش ممد آقا می خندد و ميگويد : بی خيالش داداش !!!
* * *
نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در 11:01 PM
ساعت آقا رضا مسلما به وقت گرينويچ نبود.احتمال اينكه به وقت هاوايي باشد زياد است!
گرينويچ در اروپا قرار دارد و ساعت 6 صبح به وقت شما , شايد در آنجا قيلوله نمايند.
"خواننده هميشگي شما"
چه تلخ
Posted by: سارا at April 7, 2004 2:56 AMدوست عزيز سلام.
پس از مدتي دوباره ميهمان نوشته هاي زيباي شما بودم و رنگ نوشتارتان چنان هميشه زيبايي را ميهمان انديشه ام كرد
سلام ... هرچی میکشیم ازین بیخیالی میکشیم اما اونجایی که باید بیخیال باشیم بعد سروصدا میکنیم
Posted by: آرمین گیله مرد at April 7, 2004 6:21 AMدوستان , گيله مرد پيغام مرا پاک کرد و مجبور شدم اينجا برای شما بنويسم :
آن شخصی که مدعی آزادی و داشتن هوش سرشار در یافتن مجهولات می باشد مدتی است با زبان حيوانات ( زبان مادری ) با ما انسانها هم صحبت شده . مدتی بود او را تعقیب می کردیم و بالاخره رد او را پيدا کردیم و قبلا به حسن آقا اطلاعاتش داده شد و با عده ای از دوستان محل کارش را پیدا کردیم که به دلیل عدم وجود پیگیری قضایی بر علیه این گونه جرایم اینترنتی در ایران , متاسفانه نمی توانیم او را به سزای عملش برسانیم , اما میتوانیم با نشان دادن چهره واقعی او همگان را آگاه نماییم .
نامش کيوان است و فامیلش فاتحی . منبع اطلاعاتی ما در مورد زنده گی او اینجا است در وب لاگی به نام http://k1nanejendeh.blogspot.com خواندم که به قلم خود اوست و متوجه شدم املای کلمات و عبارات بکار رفته متعلق به اين شخص شهير است و خواندن زنده گی نامه او خود گويای اين حقیقت است که چرا با همه گان سر دشمنی دارد و با زبان فحش و ناسزا که لالايی مادرش ( اگر مادرش مشخص باشد ) در کودکی بوده با ما سخن می گويد . در وبلاگ گيله مرد نوشتم و نظرم پاک شد . حال همزمان در تمام وب لاگ های فارسی زبان این مطلب فرستاده خواهد شد تا بلکه همگان اطلاع پیدا کنند . محض اطلاع دوستان حرفه ای تر فعلا اشاره ای کوتاه می نمایم که این شخص از پراکسی سرور فردی بنام a.ahrabi استفاده می نماید و خود این فرد هم بی خبر است ( به ظاهر و بعید می دانم ) و اگر این مساله ادامه پیدا کند کار به انجمن آی تی ایران و مدیران سطح بالای ناظر بر آی اس پی ها کشیده خواهد شد تا مشخص شود چرا و با چه نیتی این فرد یا افراد از وجود افراد معلوم الحالی نظیر کیوان ها استفاده می نمایند ؟! آیا مورد مملکتی و اطلاعاتی است ؟ و یا تا این اندازه وزارت اطلاعات و امینت کشور بدبخت شده است که دست به دامان افرادی بی هویت دست بزند ؟
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در پایان عکس العمل این فرد را می توانید با اسامی گوناگون مشاهده نمایید که باز هم به زبان مادری ( سگانه ) سخن خواهد گفت . منتظر باقی ماجرا و روی دوم سکه باشید . بزودی ...
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سلام گيله مرد عزيز فكر ميكنم كه مدتهاست خود ما ايرانيها به اين اخلاقيات عجيب و غريبمان پي برديم ...ولي بايد به دنبال راه چاره بود. چكار كنيم؟چون از قديم و نديم گفتند كه ترك عادت موجب مرض است و ما همگي به مرضهاي گوناگون دچاريم.اميدوارم كه بزودي شفا پيدا كنيم و اين عادتهاي زشت را ترك كنيم. شمي شب و روز بخير.
Posted by: شهره at April 9, 2004 2:09 PMسلام خدمت آقاي حسن رجب نژاد اين سال نو را به شما و تمام خانواده شما تبريک می گوييم
انشاالله که سال بسيار خوبی داشته باشيد
به من هم سر بزنيد
قربان با اجازه لينك وبلاگ شما را به ليست دوستانم اضافه كردم.
Posted by: banoo at April 11, 2004 11:09 AMبی خیال داداش
Posted by: محمد بابایی at April 11, 2004 7:48 PMعجب مرمان شريفي در فرنگ زندگي مي كنند!
Posted by: سکرتر at April 11, 2004 9:57 PMمرتيكه منفگي كون چغال خجالت نميكشي دختر كوسوتو مثل سگ هار ول دادي تو جامعه؟؟؟؟ميخواي بگم پشم كونتو بند بندازن؟؟؟هر چي باشه از اثرات ذغال خوبه كه انقدر بي غيرت شدي.اي دلم ميخواد خمار باشي و دست و پاتم در بند @منم جلوت هاي فور چاغ كنم و فوت كنم تو صورت نحس و نجست.نگو شتر در خواب بيند پنبه دانه.بزودي همديگه رو تو باغهاي فرحزاد ملاقات ميكنيم.زماني كه فصل توت باشه و همچي توت
Posted by: بوریس دو پوتیه at April 12, 2004 4:55 AMسلام گيله مرد جون!من شمارو توي تلويزيون ديدم!!!به خدا...اينقدر جيغ جيغ كردم كه نگو!!
Posted by: مهتاب at April 12, 2004 8:48 AMوب سايت بسيار زيبايي داريد
Posted by: samira at April 14, 2004 4:46 AMسلام
بسياري از ما از اين بي خيالها شنيديم . اميد öه خودمان بي خيال نباشيم .
اميدوارم
Posted by: niloofar at April 14, 2004 11:35 AMشاد باشيد.
Posted by: pouyan at April 14, 2004 4:47 PMگيله مرد كاليفورنيايي عزيز، خواستم كه بنويسم، گيله مرد عزيز، اينها را ميدانيم، لطف كن از آن چه كه نميدانيم بنويس. كمي فكر كردم، ديدم، نه! شايد واقعن نميدانيم كه كي و چي هستيم.
Posted by: سياوش at April 14, 2004 5:36 PMبه سياوش
اگر دوست عزيز و ارجمندم كمي سر موال به خود بيشتر فشار آورد و بخارات و محتويات روده خود را كمي با فشار بيشتر به چاه خلا سرازير نمايد بلاشك پي خواهي برد كه كي هستيم و چي هستيم.مخصوصا حسن رجب نژاد از جنوب ناف مادرش .
سلام
ادمي وقتي نوشته هاي شما رو مي خونه بد جور حس نوستالوژيكش گل مي كنه !
هميشه پيروز و مويد باشيد .ايشا
ميشه بگيد براي جناب مير فطرس كجا ميشه پيغام بذاريم كه بخونن !
Posted by: isha at April 14, 2004 11:53 PMبابا كجايي؟يه هفته است ميام مطلب جديد بخونم اما همون قبلياست......
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Posted by: Setareh at April 16, 2004 8:40 AMو چقدر دوست دارم عين كپور در مرداب راكد و كسل از سكون ديرين نباشم و چون قزل آلا تن به جريان بسپارم. اي كاش اينجا سكونش عميق نبود و مي شد
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من محكوم ِ شكنجه يي مضاعف ام :
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*
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Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
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Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you
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(Sung to the tune of a recent Pink Floyd song.)
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Did you leave the lists alone?
Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
Chorus:
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All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.
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