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آقای عيالوار ......!!!


آقای عيالوار ؛ دست زن و شش تا از بچه هايش را گرفته بود و سوار اتوبوس شده بود و آمده بود مرکز شهر تا برای زنگوله های پای تابوتش کفش و کلاه بخرد .
غروب که شد ؛ آقای عيالوار ؛ بهمراه عهد و عيالش ؛ آمد توی ايستگاه اتوبوس تا سوار اتوبوس بشود و برود سراغ خانه و زندگی اش .
در اين ميان ؛ يک آقای نابينايی ؛ عصا زنان و لنگ لنگان ؛ از راه رسيد و توی صف اتوبوس ؛ پشت سر آقای عيالوار ؛ توی صف ايستاد .

پس از مدتی انتظار ؛ اتوبوس ؛ تنوره کشان و ناله کنان ؛ از راه رسيد و پيش پای آقای عيالوار توقف کرد .
بچه های آقای عيالوار از سر و کول هم بالا رفتند و سوار اتوبوس شدند . عيال آقای عيالوار هم با هر جان کندنی بود از پله اتوبوس بالا رفت و سوار شد .آقای عيالوار همينکه می خواست دستگيره در را بگيرد و خودش را يک جوری بالا بکشاند که هوار آقای راننده در آمد که :
-آقا جان ! ديگر جا نداريم ؛ بايد منتظر بمانی تا اتوبوس بعدی از راه برسد .
آقای عيالوار ؛ با لب و لوچه آويزان ؛ برای عهد و عيال دستی تکان داد و فرياد زنان گفت : شما برويد ؛ من با اتوبوس بعدی ميآيم !!

اتوبوس ؛ خرناسه کشان ؛ راهش را کشيد و رفت و آقای عيالوار و آن آقای نا بينا توی ايستگاه اتوبوس به انتظار ايستادند .
نيم ساعت گذشت و از اتوبوس خبری نشد . يک ساعت شد و اتوبوسی از راه نرسيد .دو ساعت شد و از اتوبوس بعدی خبری نشد .آقای عيالوار که ديگر کفرش بالا آمده بود ؛ يک مشت فحش چار واداری نثار شهردار و فرماندار و استاندار و دالاندار و رييس شرکت واحد و امام امت کرد و بعدش رو کرد به آن آقای نا بينا و گفت : چطود است پياده برويم ؟؟

آقای نابينا ؛ سری بعلامت رضا تکان داد و بهمراه آقای عيالوار ؛ عصا زنان و لنگان لنگان راه افتاد . همينطور که با هم پياده راه ميرفتند ؛ ته عصای آقای نابينا به کف آسفالت ميخورد و تلق و تلوق صدا ميداد . و اين تلق و تلوق آنقدر اعصاب آقای عيالوار را خط خطی کرده بود که در آمد و با لحنی شماتت آميز به آقای نابينا گفت :
- پدر آمرزيده ! نمی توانستی يک تکه پلاستيکی ؛ لاستيکی ؛ چيزی ؛ ته ی اين عصای جنابعالی بچسبانی تا اينقدر تلق و تلوق صدا ندهد و پدر اعصاب مان را در نياورد ؟؟
آقای نابينا ؛ بيدرنگ در جواب گفت :
- مرد حسابی ! اگر جنابعالی يک تکه پلاستيک ** روی عصای تان گذاشته بوديد حالا ما هر دو تا مان سوار اتوبوس بوديم !!!


*** منظور از تکه پلاستيک همان کاندوم است که به زبان شيرين فارسی ميگويند کاپوت !!! ( اینهم توضيح واضحات !!!)


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  10:19 PM


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خيلي جالب بود اما به زبان جديد فارسي استخراج شده از فرهنگستان لغت به كاندوم مي گويند : گايانه

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مرسي گيله مرد عزيز اينبار هم بسيار جالب و از همه مهمتر آموزنده بود. كلي خنديدم. شاد و استوار باشيد.

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سلام....براي اولين بار يه خونه ي شما ميام...داستان هاتون رو فوق العاده دوست دارم....و حيف كه آپادانا رو ندارم....من هم داستان مينويسم....خوشحال ميشم نظر شما رو راجع به داستان هام بدونم

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آقای گیله مرد .سلام.خوب بود که اول این نوشته یه 18+ می گذاشتید.ولی در کل جاب بود.تا بعد

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سلام عمو جان... جالب بود. البت ما روي مرز 18 هستيم و ممكنه بد آموزي داشته باشه!

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زماني مراكز بهداشت كاندوم را رايگان پخش مي كردند.ولي اكنون براي اينكه نفوس منحوس مسلمين افزايش پيدا كند بابت خريدش كلي بايد سلفيد.

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سلام و خسته نباشيد.

اين ماجرا هم تكراري بود. قبلاً آن را در همين وبلاگ خوانده بودم. مطلب 18 آوريل هم در مورد ماليات. تكراري بود كه در همان محل عنوان كرديم.

موفق باشيد.

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سلام يك سوال داشتم ببخشيد اين كاپوت با اون كاپوت ماشين نسبتي دارن ؟
بعد اينكه من 22 سالمه ولي فكر ميكنم اين داستان برام بد آموزي داره آيا من مشكلي دارم يا داستانه شما به جاي +18
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سلام. جك جديد رو شنيديد؟
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امام جمعه اروميه : مربع دين سه ضلع دارد : ايمان و تقوا!
اين نوشته تون رو قبلا جايي خونده بودم .هر چند نمي دونم كجا .
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