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توی امريکا به دنيا آمده است و رفته است ايران زن ايرانی گرفته است .
اين آقای خلبان ؛ سه چهار هفته پيش ؛ رفته بود ايران .
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حالا که بر گشته است امريکا ؛ چيزهايی تعريف ميکند که آدميزاد روی کله اش اسفناج سبز می شود .

ميگفت : در تهران ؛ بليط دو سره به مقصد جزيره کيش خريديم و روز پرواز به فرودگاه مهر آباد رفتيم تا سوار هواپيما بشويم .اما ديديم يک بنده خدای ديگری را بجای ما سوار هواپيما کرده اند و بما ميگويند جا نداريم !!
خواستيم برای فردا يا پس فردا بليط بگيريم گفتند متاسفيم !
پرسيديم : حالا بايد چه خاکی به سرمان کنيم ؟؟
گفتند : تشريف ببريد اسم تان را توی ليست انتظار بنويسيد ؛ احتمالا هفته آينده نوبت تان ميشود !!

چه کنيم ؟ چه نکنيم ؟؟ داشت خون خون مان را می خورد ؛ از خير پرواز گذشتيم و رفتيم توی همان فرودگاه کفش مان را واکس بزنيم .
آقای کفاش باشی همانطور که سر گرم واکس زدن کفش مان بود ؛ شروع کرد با ما حرف زدن و درد دل کردن .ما هم از بس که دل مان پر بود و کفرمان بالا آمده بود ؛ داستان علاف شدن مان در فرودگاه را برايش تعريف کرديم .

آقای کفاش باشی رو کرد به ما و گفت : حاضرين ده تومان بسلفين ؟؟من ميتونم برای همين امروز براتون بليط بگيرم !!
پرسيديم : ده تومان ؟؟
گفت : آره !ده تومان ! (البته منظورش ده هزار تومان بود )
ما هم يک اسکناس بيست دلاری از جيب مان بيرون آورديم و گفتيم : بفرما ! ببينيم چه گلی به سرمان ميزنی !!
آقای کفاش باشی بساطش را رها کرد و رفت . چند دقيقه بعد با يک آقای ديگری برگشت . آقا هم سلام عليکی با ما کرد و حال و احوالی پرسيد و دست مان را گرفت و برد سوار هواپيمای ديگری کرد و گفت : برويد بسلامت !!
بقول قديمی ها : هم دزد راضی هم بز !!

دوست ديگری دارم که پارسال رفته بود ايران .
ميگفت : در تهران يک بليط رفت و برگشت خريدم به مقصد تبريز . رفتم تبريز و دو سه روزی ماندم و وقتی خواستم به تهران بر گردم گفتند : جا نداريم !!
گفتم : آقا جان ! من بليط تاييد شده دارم .روز و ساعت پرواز من هم بقول فرنگی ها اوکی شده است .چطور ميشود جا نداشته باشيد ؟؟
گفتند : جا نداريم آقا جان ! برو يکهفته ديگر بيا !!

داشتم توی فرودگاه تبريز به زمين و آسمان بد و بيراه می گفتم که جوانکی به من نزديک شد و گفت : برادر !مشکلی داريد ؟؟
گفتم : با با جان ؛ من بليط اوکی شده دارم ؛ ولی اينها ميگويند جا ندارند ؛ آخر اين چه مملکتی است ؟؟
جوانک در آمد که : ای آقا ! اين که خود خوری ندارد ؛ من برای تان درستش ميکنم ؛
پرسيدم : درست ميکنيد ؟ چطور درست ميکنيد ؟؟ميگويند جا ندارند .
جوانک گفت : درستش ميکنم برادر ! اما پنج تومان برايتان آب می خورد !!
پنجهزار تومان به جوانک دادم و کمتر از ده دقيقه بليط ام را به دستم داد و گفت : بفرما سوار شو !!

وقتيکه سوار هواپيما شدم و هواپيما از باند فرودگاه تبريز برخاست ؛ نگاهی به پشت سرم انداختم و ديدم حدود سی تا صندلی پشت سرم خالی است !!


نوشته شده توسط گیله مرد در  9:16 PM


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